Sisi. One more week till graduation.
“This is not the right time to think about this. This is not the right time to start doubting your life decisions. You have too much work to do. You do not have time to wander your mind Sisi!” My conscious told me to stop thinking. I know it’s right. I can’t afford the time to think and change my mind. Tic toc tic toc!
Yet somewhere in the corner of my mind, in the deepest part of my heart, I’m doubting my decisions…..I’m doubting my own ability.
Am I doing everything right? Am I going to be good enough? Am I going to be successful? It seems like I have everything laid ahead for me, yet I don’t know if it feels right.
Now, more than ever, I want to be Alice in the Wonderland.
I want to hide and run away….. fall into the rabbit holes….get lost in a magical land…. and through the adventure in that strange place maybe I’ll find myself. Maybe I’ll know what I want… and then I’ll come back to reality… ready to face everything….
If only Wonderland exists!
“Now back to study! You have 3 more finals and 2 papers to work on! Sisi you really DON’T have time”
You’re damn right consciousness. I don’t have time.